Cantankerous Kombuchawow Owner Nathan Hague Gets Too Many Emails & Threatens To Take The Piss...

May 14, 2023

Why Did Nathan Hague From Kombuchawow Send Me This Message On Facebook?

Did he wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Did a bug crawl up his arse? Or did he just opt-in to one of my landing pages and then forget about it?

*READ MORE TO FIND OUT*

I'll explain how Mr. Hague ended up on my email list shortly (which he could easily unsubscribe from with 1 click) but first I think we should have a little fun with him. After all, he did threaten to report me to the CCPA and "take the piss out" of me with a paid ad showcasing my mad marketing skills. All for receiving emails he subscribed to! But more on that later...

First, let's explore why Nathan Hague, co-owner of Kombuchawow would send me this vulgar, threatening message in the first place...

Of course, this is all purely speculation, as I have never met (nor corresponded with) Mr. Hague aside from this one incident, but you know what they say about first impressions. This was my first impression of Kombuchawow.

I'm assuming Nathan sent me this message because he has a tiny, frail, deflated ego and wanted to feel like he had some sort of control over his own life. Or maybe it was Mr. Johnson that was feeling particularly tiny that day. Who knows? But it clearly would have been much easier to just click the "unsubscribe" button in the email...

At first I thought maybe Mr. Hague just woke up having to poop really bad, and wasn't in a very good mood when he opened my email. I know I am especially irritable in the mornings before I've had my morning coffee and bowel movement, so maybe he was just having a rough morning. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I've certainly sent some messages I regret sending while under intestinal duress. However, I would soon find out this couldn't be the case...

Mr. Hague Then Continued Pestering Me For Hours Into The Night...

Naturally, when I received Nathan's hilarious message, the first thing I did was screenshot it and post it to my Facebook wall. Who does that? Three F words and two treats on the very first communication with someone? That's a bold move, considering he is making a request, after all. He is asking me to remove him from my mailing list. An action that could be accomplished with one single click at the bottom of the message he didn't like. Yet he chose this instead.

Ok, Mr. Hague... LET'S TAKE THE PISS!

You can see very clearly that the next screenshot I posted is from my CRM software that handles my opt-ins and automated emails, and shows that Nathan opted into my email list at keywordthief.com on February 5th. That means he has been receiving daily emails from me for over 3 months before deciding to message me (or unsubscribe.)

I think it's worth pointing out here (again, for shits and giggles) that Nathan says I "chose to do this publicly" after he gave me the courtesy of communicating through my inbox... With three F words, and two threats? Wasn't he the one threatening to run a paid ad about me? Now suddenly he has a problem with it being public? LOL

If Nathan Hague from Kombuchawow did 30 seconds of research, he would have known exactly what he signed up for, and who I am. Google "Keyword Thief" and you'll see my website, and multiple videos of me promoting it. Google my name, and you'll find 3 years of content about SEO. Or, even easier, he could have just clicked "unsubscribe."

But instead, he decided to message me a bunch of profanity, threaten me with baseless legal action, and my favorite part, run a paid ad about me!

PLEASE RUN THE AD, PLEASE! 😂

Honestly, I am flattered that Mr. Hague was so inspired by me emails that he would not only spend the time to reach out to me personally, but go so far as to spend his hard-earned money buying an advertisement about me!

They say business is all about taking action, and clearly Nathan Hague is a huge action taker!

Not only did he take the time to craft such an eloquent message, he then went above and beyond, replying to numerous comments for over an hour. I have no doubt that this was a valuable use of his time, and can only assume he spends this much time on every email he doesn't like. Or am I just special? I must admit, I am impressed that a single marketing email had him ready to write the government and part with his hard-earned dollars; it's a challenge to even get most subscribers to click a link and watch a video!

If this is the energy he gives to a single email from a self-employed affilaite marketer (living in a converted School Bus,) I wonder what other unorthodox activities he gets up to while running "Phuket's largest Kombucha business"...

Like I said, this was my only interaction with Nathan Hague or Kombuchawow...

Maybe Nathan is a great guy, and maybe he runs a great company. Maybe he was just having an off day. Or maybe he accidentally woke up next to a ladyboy that morning... I have no idea!

All I know is that unsubscribing would have been a lot easier,

and that threatening a digital marketer with more publicity is a fools game...